Tension by Indu Balakrishnan

The tension between men and women: Why Mars and Venus Collide

Situation One

Venus: I’m tired of cleaning after him

Mars: There is always something that I have missed 

Situation Two

Venus: Why does he finish work and then just watch TV? 

Mars: Why can’t I watch a little TV to chill? 

Situation Three

Venus: He’s forever silent. Maybe he lost interest in me. 

Mars: India lost the cricket match. 

Situation Four

Venus: Why can’t he just listen to me complain? 

Mars: Why does she complain when I solve the problem? Isn’t that what she wants when she complains? 

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This is just the tip of the iceberg of what we call the tension between men and women. The tension has only increased in time. The shift in the roles of men and women has increased the gap in many ways. Back in the day, the man went to work, and the woman cooked. The man provided for his family, and the woman took care of him. The sense of pride in his accomplishments at work, along with the love and sacrifice for his family, is what made the man ‘man.’ 

And now, the COVID-19 lockdown has modified the scales in ways beyond anyone’s comprehension. Men are at home ALL THE TIME. Work From Home has become the norm for everyone – man and woman. It is safe to say that familiarity breeds contempt. Offices were the saving grace that kept some semblance of sanity. Now, seeing too much of each other has increased divorce rates by a freaking 34% in the US. The numbers are pretty high in most countries, that’s for sure. 

Being forced to stay at home together, couples are forced to interact and engage with each other. The line ‘I have to go to the office’ seems to have saved many marriages. Now, people are being forced to take a hard look at their partners. Tensions are high. There is nowhere to go! 

So are men really from Mars and Women really from Venus? Is that why there is so much tension? How are they different? Let’s take a look at some stereotypical statements that might or might not be true. I’d leave that to you to tell me. 

  • Men would prefer to execute rational actions with no emotion. Women would want to get touchy-feely about it and explore in-depth emotions. 
  • Women would want to talk about the problems, because talking helps. Men would like to solve it without realizing that sometimes, women just want to be heard. 
  • Men’s idea of unwinding at the end of a long day would be beer and television. Women would want to talk about the day that the men would rather forget. 
  • Men recognize primary colours. Women recognize all the colours in the world. With men, anything would go, but a woman might find it not just appalling but catastrophic. 
  • When a woman can solve her own problems, the man feels unfit to take care of her. When a man fixes a problem with cold thinking, a woman would think it’s cold and apathetic. 

So what went wrong? Is this tension meant to be? Can it be solved? Is it meant to be solved? Or is it more fun when they do collide? 

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